The truth of the matter is this: even though we can’t break-up with ourselves entirely, we can dump the parts that we don’t like to make room for better things.
Tearing down the walls of emotional unavailability is hard, like probably the hardest thing, but it’s worth it in the end because of the whole deep meaningful super-connected relationships thing.
Our boundaries become blurred, and we don't know where we stop and they begin.
It seems like they're the emotionally unavailable parties in our relationships, but if we were truly available, we'd either be single or with partners who genuinely fulfilled us.
Now that I'm in a healthy relationship, I look back at all my past relationships and realize what B. She's single because she hasn't met the right guy yet.
I was inundated with messages that as a blonde, as a woman, as someone from the working class that I was not capable. Eventually that “pissed off” feeling fueled me enough to prove them wrong.
Here are some reasons why we go for emotionally unavailable partners: It's way easier to look at others and list all the ways they need to change than to look at ourselves and own up to our own faults.
Because, then, we'd have to do the hard work to change.
If we were in relationships with people who fulfilled us, we would have to deal with our own pain.
So, instead, we become enmeshed with emotionally unavailable people as a way to avoid ourselves.
The other weekend, my friend had a drunken bar makeout with a dude who turned out to have a "sort of" girlfriend.