Once we began talking, my mind would race off into a baby-filled fantasy future. Excellent, I’d think, picturing him kicking a ball around with our children. Brilliant, I’d say to myself, imagining him riding along with our toddler strapped on the back.
And then, far too early on, I’d ask nonchalantly: ‘So, how do you feel about kids?
The grief hit me in my mid-thirties without warning.
By all appearances, my life was fantastic, or pretty close.
First, she tried in 2006 when she lived in Pennsylvania. When it came to kids, she says, “everyone I was matched with already had them or wanted them.” She says Match lacked a good feature for sorting out those guys who want kids.Grief over childlessness for a single woman in her thirties and forties is not as accepted.Instead, it's assumed we just don't understand that our fertility has a limited lifespan and we are simply being reckless with chance.I had a great job in New York City, good friends, some good dates.But then there were times, lonely days and nights, when I would cry. I would lie in bed awake for hours, tears running onto my pillow. Having experienced the same feeling for a few years, I now know the grief was over being childless, or more poignantly, over the loss of the baby I never held in my arms.Source: Shutterstock After sharing a guest-post on step-parenting from the step-child’s point of view, one commenter asked an interesting question: “Should a man with no kids be hesitant to date a woman with kids?